Healthy Feedback Loop - Part 1
We all need feedback, but not all feedback is equal. How to weigh what feedback is most helpful and what to do with the rest.
A few months ago, I was leading a diversity workshop for a local organization. I instructed the group to begin a creative and individual reflection exercise. As everyone in the room began the exercise, I noticed one participant in the back of the room motioning for me to join him in the hallway. I followed him out and prepared to hear what he wanted to say.
He shared that the way I framed the exercise had been unhelpful and made some assumptions about peoples’ experiences. I could tell that he felt personally and negatively impacted by this even though he wasn’t directly saying so. I apologized, thanked him for taking the risk to share with me, and assured him I would add some additional framing of the exercise to make it more inclusive before moving to the next group activity.
I was so glad he offered me immediate feedback. It was also hard to hear because the last thing I wanted was to create a less-than-inclusive moment in a diversity workshop. Yikes!
Feedback is a gift and we never outgrow our need for it. That’s a healthy perspective for leaders to hold.
To the detriment of those they lead, I’ve observed enough long-term leaders who behave as if they’ve arrived at the pinnacle of development. Incidentally, they don’t come across as people who are open to feedback.
I’ve noticed this in my area of work with people with communication roles. It feels pretty clear to me that they reached a point where they stopped inviting feedback and other people stopped offering it. But it’s not as if they don’t need feedback! Quite the opposite.
When there’s a power dynamic at play, very few people will less authority than these folks are going to take the risk to say, “Hey there, senior leader person! Can I tell you something about yourself? Yes? Cool. Here’s my truth: your team pep talks aren’t great.”
But it doesn’t have to be this way. It is possible to lead in a way that communicates you assume there is always more to learn.
One of the ways women in leadership and management roles can make space for more feedback is to model a growth mindset for those they lead. Your title and role don't exempt you from growth and growth comes from regularly getting input on whether what you’re doing and how you’re doing it is actually working.
You can create this kind of environment by regularly sharing what you’re learning, telling stories of how you’re actively responding to feedback, and giving people - both indirectly and directly - permission to give you feedback.
And then take it a step farther by responding well when someone takes the risk to tell you something about yourself you don’t yet know. If you respond defensively, it’s game over. Trust is lost and you’ve undermined the culture you want to promote. Managing your own defensive responses goes a long way in backing up the trust you’re working to strengthen.
Here are some reflection questions to help you assess the current state of your leadership feedback loop:
How do I feel about receiving feedback?
Are there ways I am communicating those feelings to those I lead? How helpful is that message?
When was the last time someone I work with offered me feedback about my leadership?
What’s an example of a way I’ve applied constructive feedback and what was the impact?
Stay tuned for Part 2 - I’ll explore why not all feedback is equal and some tools for interpreting the feedback we receive.
